<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Realizations by rach072675</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28562490">Realizations</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rach072675/pseuds/rach072675'>rach072675</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Gotham (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>First Kiss, Love Confessions, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 01:22:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,472</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28562490</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rach072675/pseuds/rach072675</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ed comes to a few realizations.  Oswald isn't willing to let him off the hook easily.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Realizations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I combined three prompts I found on Tumblr: “OMG you’re in love with him… I broke my rules for you... I’d do anything for you… despite how much you piss me off.  Takes place somewhere in Season 5 before the jump.  Unbetaed.  So mistakes are mine.  And I don't own the characters just the idea.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The realization hits Ed while they’re building the submarine. Somewhere along the line his feelings for Oswald have changed.  They’ve changed in a huge way.  Or maybe it’s not so much that they’ve changed but that he’s willing to admit this is how he’s felt all along.  He’s not sure what to do with this information.  If Gotham weren’t in it’s current state he’d go talk to Barbara or Lee… well no not Lee.  Selina, he’d go talk to Barbara or Selina.  But given everything that’s really not an option.  He could talk to himself… not like he hasn’t done it before; if he does that though he runs the risk of Oswald coming in and hearing him.  He supposes that means it’s Barbara who’s going to draw the short stick. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He’s about to head to see her when she shows up at the submarine all on her own.  He knows she wants to check his progress.  This once he decides it’s fine.  She listens to him.  Offers a couple of suggestions on where to have Oswald get a part he needs.  Requests a few things that he deems way out of the realm of possibility.  And then, just as she’s about leave, he drops the news.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I need advice… it’s a rather personal matter.   I’d appreciate it if you not make this anymore difficult for me than it already is.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’ll do my best.  Now what’s up?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I find myself…. Look I know I tried to kill….. It’s just he’s…..”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Barbara tries to piece together what Ed’s saying.  Or rather what he seems incapable of spitting out.  At first, she thinks something’s happened to Oswald.  But quickly rules that out.  Jim would have gotten word to her if that were the case.  Then she thinks maybe Ed’s reconsidering assisting with the submarine.  But that’s quickly ruled out as well, given the amount of grease under his fingernails.   Then she starts to really go over what he’s just said.  It hits her like a ton of bricks.  The boy is finally willing to admit what she and the Sirens have known since Oswald was Mayor.  And he’s come to her for advice.  Oh how she wishes Tabitha were still here.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“OMG you’re in love with Oswald!  Seriously?  Finally, willing to admit it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What?  What do you mean finally willing to admit it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Ed, you’ve been in love with Oswald for eons.  Tabitha and I used to talk about it all the time.  We didn’t think you’d actually go through with the plan because of how you felt.  When you shot him we were both shocked.  Let me guess you’re not sure how to tell him.  Afraid he doesn’t feel the same way?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“He can’t feel the same way… not anymore.  I ruined things.  I’ve made such a mess of things.  I’m not sure how to fix this.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Let me ask you something.  Tabitha and I have always thought… look this isn’t easy for me to say… but we always thought you had….”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Barbara sees Oswald out of the corner of her eye and signals to him to stay put.  She’s not sure how she manages to do it without Ed noticing, but thanks the heavens for the favor.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Here let me make things a bit easier for you.  Yes I have two personalities.  Yes, for once we’re both in agreement.  Oswald is the only person who’s ever seen us, both of us, and wanted us both, loved us both.  Or he used to.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I still do.  Barbara, I think it would be best if you left.” Oswald says coming into the room, realizing why Barbara wanted him to wait in the first place.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sure, thing Oswald.  Go easy on him.  I think this realization is new.”  Barbara whispers to him as she leaves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“How much of that did you overhear.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Enough to know we need to have a conversation.  I swear to you Ed if this is some sort of game just to get something for this submarine, I’ll kill you where you stand.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>‘What?  Is that what you think?  Do you honestly think I’d use how you felt about me to get something out of you?  Have I really made that much of a mess of things between us?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oswald doesn’t say anything.  Just gives a slight nod.  Ed almost loses his nerve.  But then he realizes it’s now or never.  He takes a few deep breaths.  Tries not to think about what Oswald rejecting him would mean or what it’s going to do to him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I meant what I said to Barbara just now.  You are the only one who sees all of me and accepts me.  And loves me.  You’re the only one who ever has.” He stops and takes Oswald’s hands in his.  He’s a bit surprised when the other man lets him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“This isn’t… I’m not… You took the choice out of my hands.  You just decided you wouldn’t win so you eliminated the competition.  You never stopped to consider I might love you too.  Damnit Oswald by the time Isabella showed up I’d already broke all of my rules for you.  I’d already thrown being unencumbered out the window.  You just couldn’t see it and I was so afraid you’d reject the idea, even given how you felt, that I didn’t say a word.  And I know that doesn’t make any sense.  Believe me <em>he</em> told me all the time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Wait, back up.  You’re the one who waltzed in and declared you were in love with Isabelle.  So, don’t give me that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It was never going to last.  I was in love with the idea of being able to have a second chance with Miss Kringle.  And if you’d bothered to wait it out, we wouldn’t be in this mess right now.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You are not turning this around on me.”  Oswald says ripping his hands away from Ed’s.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m sorry.  That’s not my intention. Can we both agree we acted irrationally?  Can we both agree we took things more than a step too far?  Go back to bygones and all that.  Damnit, why is it I can never do this right.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What’s that play martyr, because you seem to constantly do a bang-up job of that.”  Oswald says, voice rich with sarcasm.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know what….”  Ed stops himself from completing the sentence.  He takes a deep breath and pinches the bridge of his nose.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oswald…”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You know if you really meant it, it wouldn’t be that hard for you to say it.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Really, Mister I forgot what I was going to say?  At least I’m trying.  And did it ever occur to you that maybe it was so easy for me to say it to Isabella and Miss Kringle because I was trying to convince myself and <em>him</em>.  Did it ever occur to you that I’m scared that you’re going to tell me I’m too late?  That everything I’ve done has ruined any hope I have of us being together.  And I’d have no one to blame but myself.  I’m not like you Oswald.  I crumble at failure.  I go into tailspins.  It’s not pretty.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, Ed.  I really shouldn’t make this easy for you.  I shouldn’t.  But I’d do anything for you, even if you do piss me off.  Just like I know you’d do anything for me.  I love you, still.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love you too.  I have for a long time.  And you’re right it’s the same for me.  I’d do anything for you, still.  I’m sorry for everything.  But I’m mostly sorry I made us waste so much time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Oswald doesn’t say anything.  He pulls Ed down for a kiss.  Ed kisses him back and feels all the nerves disappear.  He deepens the kiss.  When they come up for air, they’re both smiling.  Ed gives Oswald another soft kiss.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I love you.  And I hope you know I’d do anything for you… except stop with riddles.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You wouldn’t be you if you did.  Why didn’t you…. Just now. You could have.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, I couldn’t.  You needed to know it’s not just Riddler that’s in love with you.  I need you know something else.  You, being with you, around you makes me feel… I don’t…. I don’t feel as out of control when you’re with me.  When…” Oswald kisses him again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I make you feel like you’re whole.  I know.  I get it.  You need to know you’re under my protection now.  Anyone comes for you they’re going to have me to deal with.  No more chips in your head.  I mean it.  And when we find Hugo Strange, he’s going to answer for what he’s done.  I’m sorry I didn’t keep an eye on him more the first time.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Bygones remember.”  Ed says pecking Oswald on the lips again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Bygones it is.”</p>
<p>r</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you all enjoyed.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>